The Bible is filled with powerful scriptures. Truth is there to be claimed. Every word is inspired and written for us. I believe it. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Be anxious for nothing.” That scripture has been burned into my mind for as long as I can remember. Over time I’ve learned that I can indeed take (almost) every thought captive to the power of Christ (most of the time). 2 Corinthians 2:5 That scripture actually comes with no amendments and nothing in parethensis, but if I’m being real, that is the truth of it for me some days. Like you, I’m still in the process of sanctification and aware of how far I have to go before my life aligns perfectly with the inspired Word of God.
Twice in as many months, I’ve gone to bed anxious over a coming event, a next-day kind of thing, tossing and turning as I’ve tried to fall asleep and grateful when sleep finally came. I know scripture. I understand my responsibility is to rest. I know God is my covenant partner. I get it that I’m nobody’s savior…and yet…and yet…and yet…
Something remarkable has happened on both of those two aforementioned restless nights. Something so truly, ridiculously GOD that I haven’t spoken of it, even to my husband. It feels holy. I’ve held it close and enjoyed the warmth of it. Today felt like the time to pull back the covers and let you see the beauty of my God. To share His extravagant goodness. To speak of a love so incredible that it still surprises me.
On both of those nights I’ve awakened at 2:30 in the morning, SMILING. Every fear and every anxiety GONE. Grinning from ear to ear. With a sweet blanket of peace covering me, tucking me in so completely that I feel snuggled by it and with a deep knowing that the situation over which I’d let myself become anxious would be well. This has been no glimmer of hope. This was a deeply settled assurance that nothing could shake. I woke up again at various intervals throughout the rest of those two nights experiencing the same rest and JOY over and over again. There was no human reasoning behind why I felt so changed; only the knowledge that while I slept, my God had been singing over my spirit and in so doing had changed everything. Somehow as I rested, He had worked in me causing me both to desire and to do things that please Him. Philippians 2:13 The thing He wanted me to do? Rest. Simply rest in His goodness. Rest in the full knowledge that He knew where we were and that we would never be alone.
The circumstances I’d been stressing over had not changed; we still had to walk through the days that followed those nights but I knew deep in my knower that it would all right. And it was. There was no good reason to smile. It would be inappropriate to smile under such duress. There was every human reason to be anxious. Until suddenly there He was, stepping into my moment of distress. Saving the day before the day came. (Just between you and me, I think Gideon and I would have been friends. I’m just saying. Judges 7)
I’m grateful we can embrace the mystery of Christ; I’m happy to know we don’t have to worry about understanding it all. I’m glad for every moment He gives when I can smile for real — in the face of adversity — because if God says, “It’s all right.”, it’s all right. We can trust Him.